It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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