your parents love me but you hate me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
