He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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