I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
