new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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