its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sorry about my life...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
