I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
