His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
