So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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