she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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