I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
