i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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