I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize