Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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