i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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