I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
