Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
