My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
