I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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