If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dick very happy bro
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
