I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
