what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
