STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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