Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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