i don't like sucking hair
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
