is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
