Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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