Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
