How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
