remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I understand Curling. That high.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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