so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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