she looked like the before picture.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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