I skipped work to stalk him.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
