Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
