What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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