But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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