I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just found puke in my bra..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
