Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
