i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
