U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
