we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
