i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
