She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
