do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
