Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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