If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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