she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
