she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
