You work out of a Hotel?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
