she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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