I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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