Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
