ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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