Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
