dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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