I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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