my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
