he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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