Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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