The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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