Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
