i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
