Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
As shirtless as possible
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
