I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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