What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
time to smoke my breakfast
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
