The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize