physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can you bring me the toilet please
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
