I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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