i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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