standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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