i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
drinking out of a sandbucket again
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
