Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
