It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
