Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
