bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
COCAINE IS GR8
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize