I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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