is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
