I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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