Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
