just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
