Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
