I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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