ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
